.Publisher's Note: The following is actually the message of a character coming from Expedition Three Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Resigned), reflecting on the occasions of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't written very much concerning specifics of this particular purpose during the month I've been actually listed below, primarily for 2 reasons: the first being actually that there has been actually incredibly little time to perform that kind of creating, and second of all due to the fact that I am actually not sure how pleasant I am sharing thought and feelings I show to friends and family with the remainder of the planet.Well, certainly the globe altered today. What I point out or perform is actually really minor compared to the value of what happened to our country today when it was struck through ... through whom? Terrorists is actually all we know, I suspect. Challenging to recognize at whom to route our temper as well as anxiety ...I had actually just ended up a number of jobs today, one of the most lengthy being actually the physical examinations of all workers participants. In an exclusive discussion adhering to that, the flight doctor told me they were possessing a really negative time on the ground. I had no tip ...He defined the situation to me as best he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was dumbfounded, at that point frightened. My first thought and feelings was that this had not been an actual discussion, that I was still paying attention to among my Tom Clancy strips. It merely really did not appear achievable on this incrustation in our nation. I couldn't also imagine the particulars, also before the headlines of further damage began coming in.Vladimir came over fairly quickly, sensing that one thing incredibly serious was being actually talked about. I waved Michael in to the component too. They were actually likewise astonished as well as stunned. After our team signed off, I made an effort to describe to Vladimir and Michael as finest I could the potential measurement of this show of horror in midtown Manhattan and at the Government. They precisely comprehended and were quite understanding.I glanced at the World Chart on the computer to see where over the planet our team were and also noticed that our company were happening southeast away from Canada and would certainly be overlooking New England in a handful of mins. I zipped around the terminal till I discovered a window that will give me a sight of New York City and got the nearest cam. It took place to become a video camera, as well as I was actually appearing southern from the window of Michael's cabin.The smoke cigarettes seemed to be to possess a weird flower to it at the base of the column that was actually streaming south of the urban area. After checking out some of the newspaper article our team just acquired, I think we were examining NY around the time of, or quickly after, the failure of the second high rise. Exactly how horrendous ...I scanned the video camera the whole time the East Shore to the south to observe if I could possibly see any other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or anywhere else, yet absolutely nothing showed up.It was pretty hard to consider job afterwards, though our team possessed some to do, yet on the following orbit our team went across the US more southern. All three people were actually working one or two electronic cameras to attempt to obtain viewpoints of Nyc or even Washington. There was actually haze over Washington, but no specific resource may be found. It all appeared awesome coming from two to three hundred kilometers away. I can not picture the terrible settings on the ground.Besides the emotional impact of our country being dealt with and also lots of our people and possibly some close friends being actually gotten rid of, one of the most difficult feeling being where I am actually is among solitude.Next day ... I think the fatigue and also mental strain obtained the most effective of me. I couldn't remain awake and remain to compose. Today was actually still challenging, however we started getting more relevant information, plus our team possessed the tribute of speaking straight with the Center Director, Roy Estess, who assured our team that the ground groups would remain to operate and also ensure our safety, as well as the safe function of the Place. We likewise talked to our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, who added that the partners in the System are all totally dedicated to carrying on risk-free functions and also help. These were certainly never inquiries for me. I recognize all these folks! The ground crews have been actually extremely encouraging, extremely understanding of the impact of the updates, and also have actually attempted to become as valuable as feasible. They have all been extremely expert and also centered though I can't envision the distraction of this particular form of updates being available in and also the notion that authorities buildings might be in jeopardy. They never ever bypassed a beat, also when transferring nerve center. And also a group of senior workers and friends offered our company a rather thorough briefing on what was actually known and also what was actually being carried out in the authorities and also at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was quite beneficial and also sort of them to do in the middle of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has actually also been helpful as well as helpful, attempting to uplink newspaper article when our very own resources were unusable, and also saying kind words ...My crewmates have been terrific, too. They understand it's been actually a hard time for me and the folks on the ground, as well as they have actually attempted to be as also keeled as well as handy as achievable. Michael even corrected me my beloved Borscht soup for supper. As well as they provide me plenty of area to think when I required it. They are extremely sympathetic and obviously outraged at whoever would certainly do this.I recognize plenty of people in Washington, numerous individuals who journey to DC and NYC, a lot of who are captains, that I really felt certain I will obtain at least a few parts of trouble over the next few days. I got the very first one today when I learned that the Leader of the American Airlines plane that hit the Pentagon was actually Chic Burlingame, a schoolmate of mine. I found Chic in the course of cadet summertime when we were in the D&B together, and also we had bunches of lessons all together. I can not picture what he should of looked at, and right now I listen to that he may have risen additionally than our company can also consider through probably stopping his plane from being the one to tackle the White Property. What a dreadful loss, but I ensure Chic was dealing with bravely throughout. As well as tears don't move the exact same in space ...It is actually tough to illustrate exactly how it experiences to be the only United States fully off the planet at once including this. The feeling that I must exist along with all of you, handling this, aiding in some way, is frustrating. I understand that our company perform the threshold (or even past) of a terrible switch in the background of the planet. A lot of things will definitely never be the same once more after September 11, 2001. Not just for the 1000s as well as 1000s of folks directly influenced by these horrendous acts of violence, but possibly for we all. Our company are going to discover ourselves feeling in different ways about loads of traits, consisting of perhaps area expedition, however.It is actually horrendous to observe smoke putting coming from injuries in your personal nation from such a wonderful perspective. The duality of performing a space probe devoted to improving everyday life on the earth as well as checking out life being actually damaged through such unforced, horrendous acts is jolting to the subconscious, regardless of that you are. As well as the knowledge that every thing will be various than when our experts launched due to the opportunity our experts land is a little bit of disconcerting. I believe in our country and also in our leadership that we will carry out everything feasible to better guard her as well as our households, and also to deliver compensation for what has actually been actually done. I have assurance that the great individuals at NASA will perform everything needed to proceed our purpose properly and also return us carefully at the correct time. As well as I miss each of you very much. I can not exist along with you face to face, and also our company have a very long way to head to accomplish our mission, but be particular that my soul is along with you, as well as know you remain in my petitions.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An update to the final letter ... Fortunately, it is actually been a hectic full week up listed below. As well as to confirm that, like our country, our team are actually continuing on our planned course with service customarily (as much as feasible). Tonight the current addition to the station, the Russian Docking Chamber will be released coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday night (US opportunity), it will dock along with us, at a port never used before on the low point edge of the Service Module. This brand new module is going to offer our team an additional area to dock an Improvement or even Soyuz as well as will certainly deliver a sizable airlock with 2 able to be used hatches for performing EVA's in Russian Orlan meets, which our experts will definitely perform a few of before our team come home.The problem prior to in coping with recently was insufficient updates. The complication now is actually excessive. It arrived simultaneously when email was actually repaired, and also there's inadequate time to read everything! Plus it is actually as well difficult to deal with all of it immediately. Yet I cherish obtaining it, and I truly value the terrific characters of help as well as companionship I am acquiring.Our team are actually flourishing aboard, receiving our job performed, as well as speaking about factors. Last night our team possessed a lengthy discussion over dinner concerning the significance of these activities, the possible activities to observe, as well as what ought to be actually carried out. After dinner, Michael made a point of informing me that every email he acquired from buddies in Russia claimed especially to inform me just how sorry they were actually that this occurred, prolonging their condolences, and also talking to just how I was actually doing. Vladimir showed me the Russian word for "condolences" after speaking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Urban area. (Both the Russian as well as the English phrases are considerably very lengthy to articulate easily.) Incredibly type people.For the last 2 times, the Russian MCC has sufficed to send live broadcasts of radio updates regarding the occasion and also connected stories, to see to it I was well updated. Every specialist that has started the line to explain a technique or a complication has at some factor extended greetings to me with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom told us that due to the wedding day of recognition in the US, all day folks had actually been taking florals as well as lining all the wall surfaces of the United States embassy in Moscow, and also this night they were lighting candle lights in the street outside the consulate. How the globe has modified.Folks all over appear to realize the senselessness and also horror in this particular strike. And also the tremendous loss. Moscow has managed these type of issues in the last few years along with house as well as subway bombings, so they are as anxious to eliminate this hazard as our experts are actually. However the bottom product line is actually that there are actually really good folks everywhere who would like to stay in calmness. I check out that a kid talked to, "United States is thus good to various other nations, our experts constantly aid everyone, how can they despise our team a great deal?".I hope the example of teamwork and leave that this space probe and all the people in the program show daily are going to one day encourage the rest of the world to operate the same way. They must!However, our experts won't be piloting over the US during the time folks are igniting candle lights. Don't know if our team could possibly see that anyway. Our experts did, having said that, view a very unusual and gorgeous attraction a couple of minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz enhancer. Our team were actually eclipsing it and also it emerged concerning three mins after its launch from Baikonur as the sunshine hit our station, so it was actually still in the dark. It resembled a huge comet along with a directly, wide rear silhouetted against the black earth below. Regardless of some bad illumination for some time as the sunlight struck our home window at a reduced angle, I handled some video clip of it as first we passed the rocket, and afterwards enjoyed it begin to mesmerize as it obtained elevation and also rate. I filmed till primary motor deadline as well as booster splitting up developed just like our company approached sunrise on the Himalayas. A memorable view in an extraordinary week ...Lifestyle goes on, also in space. Our experts're here to stay ... Frank.